Getting Kicked Out of Disney Land

(Tuesday July 29, 2008)

Today I found out that two people on the trail were once banned from setting foot on Disney Land property, one for three and a half years.

The story came up when we were breaking at Highway 138 just outside the Crater Lake National Park boundary. Boomer asked if anyone would dare him to play dead on the side of the road. I immediately suggest that he do just that, but Flippy talked him out of it. I was thinking of taking up the dare myself when Boomer starts in on the story of the time he was thought dead on Thunder Mountain.

I don't think it does this at Disney World, but apparently for about 45 seconds in Disney Land, the Thunder Mountain ride stops and sits at one part. Boomer decides this is an excellent time for a Çhinese fire drill.

He wriggles out from under the bar, starts running and halfway through he ride takes off. So he's left standing there in the middle of the ride near a service door not knowing what to do. He didn't have to wait long to find out though.

Allegedly a few people have been killed in the past on that ride so when the cart came back minus one, Walt Disney flipped shit. Flood lights came on and a bunch of Disney staff come running back looking for what they're assuming is an injured or possibly dead rider.

"Sir! Sir! Where are you!? Are you okay!? Are you hurt!?"

Upon finding a healthy young man joking around about the situation, Walt Disney again flips shit, and really I guess you can't blame them since they evacuated a quarter of the park and called in the fire department. Just a mite pissed.

Boomer: "They took me away in handcuffs. Disney Land has a jail and it's behind Toon Town."

Again Boomer tries to make light of the situation, but there is a major shortage in the sense of humor department over in Anaheim.

Disney PD: "We're going to call your parents right now. What do you think of that?"

Boomer: "I'm 23. Go ahead. My dad will get a kick out of it."

And out he went, banned for over three years, with the threat of real, not Toon Town jail time if he came back.

I don't know the other guy's name, but whoever he is, he bought a Tigger costume and went around telling kids not to drink or smoke weed.

Walt Disney seems to feel that kids should indulge in such extracurricular activities if they feel the need as they attempted to arrest D.A.R.E. Officer Tigger and stop him from preaching his corrupting gospel.

Tigger uses the kids he's trying to help as decoys, asking the security team if they really want to arrest Tigger in front of all of them.

Knowing they had a conundrum on their hands - putting rent-a-cops in a pickle is what Tiggers do best! - security sort of surrounded him and backed him out of the park without ever laying a hand on him.

And if you think that's wild, check this out. I went to Disney World in middle school and the new Pumas my parents bought for me for the trip got rained on and stained my feet blue.