14) Who knew Pee Wee could be so inspirational?
Simone: Do you have any dreams?Pee Wee, not only have you convinced a fictional 80's waitress to take up residence in Paris, but me to go on a cross country hike. Thank you, Mr. Herman. I've been waiting for somebody to put it to me like that for so long!
Pee Wee: I'm all alone. I'm rolling a big doughnut and a snake wearing a vest...
S: No, not that kind of dream. I mean a dream you dream about all the time...and it keeps you going, dreaming about it...hoping it will come true. Do you ever have a dream like that?
P: To find my bike.
S: My dream is to live in the city of eternal love...Paris, France.
P: You'll get there, Simone.
S: I don't know.
P: Why not? What's stopping you?
S: Andy, for one.
P: Who's Andy?
S: My boyfriend. He's real jealous. He flunked French in high school and thinks that everything there is set up to make him look dumb.
P: I bet if he knew how important it is to you, he'd change his mind. Simone, this is your dream. You have to follow it.
S: I know you're right, but...
P: But what?
S: Everyone I know has a big "but."
P: Come on, Simone. Let's talk about your big "but."
S: I don't know.
P: You can't just wish and hope for something to come true. You have to make it happen.
S: I've been waiting for somebody to put it to me like that for so long.
15) Tina the Alamo guide is, as I've mentioned, a baby vamp. However, her accent sounded so fake I thought it was a joke. But apparently she's from Georgia, so what do I know about southern accents?
16) And Pedro is working on an "adobe." Can you say that with me? Adobe.
17) Sometimes the best medicine is fake laughter:
We are now in the kitchen of the Alamo women. Here they are preparing culinary delights of the Southwest. Do I hear someone's stomach growling?18) Pee Wee calls Dottie from a pay phone and asks her to wire him a bus ticket. This movie really is old.
Hahahahahahahahahaha!
19) If you end up with a case of temporary memory loss in Texas, just tell them you remember...the Alamo!...and you're in like a dirty shirt (Does the analogy make sense? Not much. I think I heard it somewhere. Maybe I made it up. Either way, I like it and I'm going to use it).
20) Pee Wee walks into the biker bar and no music is playing whatsoever. Give me a break.
21) Favorite part II:
Biker: I say we stomp him! Then we tattoo him! Then we hang him! And then we kill him!22) A female biker grabs Pee Wee and says seductively, "I say you let me have him first."
Pee Wee: (throws voice) I say we let him go!
Entire gang: No!
8 year old me: "For what?"
23) The bar has neon signs for Michelob on Tap, Coors Light and some other beer that looked like Lorshs. Could have been Grolsch. I couldn't make it out.
24) Favorite part III - Laugh 1 - It is clearly not Pee Wee on the motorcycle; Laugh 2 - I become a giggling school girl when he crashes through the billboard.
25) Kids watching the clown dream sequence in the hospital are going to be freaked the F out. I remember hating this scene years ago and it's still weird and uncomfortable today. I don't have a problem with clowns, but I wouldn't be surprised if they were ruined for a lot of kids by that scene.
26) A Wayne Arnold sighting!
27) The head nun on the movie set...she's another looker. This movie's just full of them.
28) Pee Wee escapes with his bike and has his path blocked by a pink and blue elephant. I may be stating the obvious, but that reminds me of a joke. What do you kill a blue elephant with? A Blue Elephant Gun. What do you kill a pink elephant with? Hold its nose until it turns blue and shoot it with a Blue Elephant Gun.
29) A couple of short 80's shorts sightings.
30) When the Warner Bros. security guard on the bike rips off Pee Wee's fake bike handle, I always thought I would have been pissed because the new handle that pops out had no tassles on it. That leaves only one handle with tassles. The bike's all uneven now.
31) If you notice, there's a Wicked Witch homage in the music during the bike chase.
32) The Pee Wee chase interrupts a Twisted Sister video that looks like it was the inspiration for the Rock Band opening.
33) Pee Wee launches himself over a fence onto the roof of a house with the cheesiest set of rockets ever shown on film.
34) When Pee Wee frees the baby chickens from the pet store fire, one takes a tumble down the step outside of the door. Poor little chicken.
35) Again, this movie is much older than I remember. Absolutely awful police cars.
36) A super spy with a beard? This must be an 80's flick. Not to mention...
37) ...the fight scene where the ninjas steal the X-1. I know that this is supposed to be cheeseball, but what was it about the 70's and 80's that made choreographers unable to create realistic movie fight scenes? A prime example - watch the original Bourne Identity. I turn it on a few months ago expecting Matt Damon to shove a pen into the hand of a European secret agent who for some reason is fighting with a back pack on, and I get Richard Chamberlain running on a cloudy European beach being chased by children. Later on he demonstrates the fighting style of a right handed person trying to throw lefty for the first time. And I know flat tops were at one time a hair style of choice, but this scene can't only look ridiculous in hind sight. I picture the director yelling a disgusted "Cut!" after suffering through another drunken Richard Chamberlain lunge masquerading as a punch, then berating the executive producer for slashing the fight choreography budget at the last minute.
38) Any remakes of this movie are going to have to get up to speed with our current political enemies. Pee Wee originally blames the Soviets for stealing his bike. The infidel Canadians would now have to be responsible.
39) Phil Hartman makes a cameo (he helped write the script) and is basically just playing Troy McClure before anyone knew who Troy McClure was.
40) The movie ends with Dottie and Pee Wee together riding bikes. Dottie has two tiny dogs in a basket on the front of her bike. Tiny dogs used to be used as jokes in Pee Wee Herman movies. Now people have special purses to carry them around in at the mall.
41) As it turns out, I really only missed a few scenes. I guess I'm just used to movies being over two hours. Mr. Wee's Big Adventure is only 90 minutes, so it felt like I came in at the middle.
42) You stink!
No comments:
Post a Comment